Highlight Reel Ruminations

Me: Sigh.

God: Hey Helen, what’s up?

Me: It’s nothing.

God: {finger tapping}

Me: What?

God: You know I already know, right…?

Me: {sigh} Fine. It’s just…another Facebook friend is jetting off to France. Again!

God: Oh yes, I saw that! Great isn’t it.

Me: Yeah, great* (*sarcasm…)

God: You seem bothered by this?

Me: Well of course I am…you know it’s the one place I really want to visit, God! And right now, it feels like I won’t ever have that!

God: How do you know?

Me: Have you seen my bank account lately?** (**more sarcasm)

God: Sure. Have you read my Word?

Me: What does that have to do with this?

God: Have you forgotten the great Jeremiah 29 verse, about your future being amazing?!

Me: No…

God: So how do you know what you will or won’t have in the future? Are you me?*** (***God sarcasm…so much better than mine…)

Helen: {sulky shoulder shrug and defiant child-like lip-drop}

God: So, these people are your friends, yes?

Me: Yesss.

God: And are you happy for them, that they get this incredible experience?

Me: Yes…no…maybe? I don’t know…is it possible to be really happy for them whilst holding a mini pity party for one?

God: It’s possible. But is this party any fun?

Me: Hrummph…

God: That’s what I thought. So, what if, and just hear me out here, what if you tried to choose being happy for them and quit the pity party…even when they get the blessing of something you really want but haven’t received?

Me: Can I sulk just a little…?

God: No, Helen, sulking is most unbecoming.

Me: I know! But in case you missed it, I’m just feeling a little frustrated right now!

God: I know. But Helen, trust me in this: when you start choosing to feel gratitude for someone else’s blessings – true, sincere gratitude, celebrating their “highlight reel moments,” in spite of yours not feeling quite as bright – that is when you will start to become someone who is truly living a life of freedom and hope and peace.

Me: {long pause} God?

God: Yes?

Me: It hurts sometimes. Life hasn’t gone the way I thought it would and these highlight reels feel like a constant reminder of the things I’ve lost or will never get to experience. And sometimes it feels like I have just plain failed.

God: My dearest daughter, I know; remember, I’ve walked with you the entire way and seen the things that have been lost, or taken, or simply never come to fruition. But have you ever considered that maybe you can lament those things whilst feeling glad for your friends?

Me: I really want to. Sometimes I don’t know how to…

God: That’s where you call on me to help you through. I am your hope, your joy, your source of the good life I have promised you in that other amazing verse in John 10:10. Perhaps your highlight reel will look very different to your friends, but when you align your desire with mine, you’ll find that you can celebrate theirs and find space for your own, even if it doesn’t seem to be as flashy. Besides…what you share is often the thing that someone else is longing for…

Me: Hmmm, I hadn’t thought of that. So, should I stop sharing, then?

God: You could, but based on what we’ve just discussed, is the answer hiding the good things in your life from others so they don’t feel sad? Or is it perhaps an opportunity to model being abundantly grateful for what you have in between the hard bits and inviting them to do this same process of gratitude for others?

Me: {pondering}

God: I believe we may have had a breakthrough here?

Me: I believe you might be right. So God…?

God: Yes…?

Me: Does this mean I will win that trip to France that I re…

God: Don’t ruin it, Helen!

Me: Okay, okay. Hey God…

God: Yes Helen

Me: I love you.

God: I know.

Me: Hey!

God: Well, who says I can’t be a Star Wars fan? But Helen…

Me: Yes, God?

God: You know how much you think I love you? It is infinitely greater than you imagine. And my love for you is not measured by the things that happen to you, or the “blessings” of physical things, I don’t play favourites like that. The real blessing in this life is knowing me and having these conversations. Don’t ever forget that, okay?

Me: Okay.

God: Pinky swear…?

Me: Pinky swe…? What, have you been on my streaming services again, God?!

God: Just kidding!

Me: Well that’s definitely something to be abundantly grateful about!